$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
