is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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