Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
