well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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