Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
