omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
