he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
