dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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