They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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