It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
