And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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