Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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