Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize