But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
