A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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