I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The air was thick with penises
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
