I wanna bring you to show and tell
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
