Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
