I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
