Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
