what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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