:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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