loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
