So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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