Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
