I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize