I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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