i just wanna soil my oats bro
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
