We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
