I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
