if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize