She announced her abortion via fbk
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
