I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize