How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
