I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
do nipples grow back?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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