just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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