he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
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watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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