i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
