Duck Duck Cougar?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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