is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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