My nipple is on Facebook.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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