have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
home. puking in laundry basket.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
