sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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