Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
