You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
