my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
