I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
