Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
