it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
