just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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