Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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