apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
