He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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