RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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