Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize