sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
