I can tuck mytits in my pants
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
